GERRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMSSSS!!!!!!

There are germs everywhere, and they’re closing in. We have to kick them out of the way to get around. Some of them are bunching together in self-aware clusters, threatening the dog, stealing food from the fridge. And today we decided: enough is enough!

This mess started because Nunzio was kind enough to share his germs with the rest of us. It seemed like he was having a good time, making new microscopic friends, so we thought, “Hey, what’s the harm? A few million germs never got anyone sick.”

But how wrong we were. One by one employees started to fall until the entire studio was a coughing, sneezing symphony. So we did the only sensible thing: panicked. First we emptied all offending tissue garbage and wiped down our desks with disinfectant. Then we engulfed the office in a healthy cloud of Lysol. Finally, we sealed off the bathroom, filled it up with boiling water and all settled in for a pleasant half-hour soak. The survivors feel great.

Now we all agree: no more germs in the office ever. Except for Sparky, he can stay.

My preparation for the holidays has historically been like my preparation for tests in college. Despite their presence on the calendar for weeks (or, in some cases, centuries), their rapid approach comes to me as a complete shock. All of the sudden I have an hour to stuff my car full of gifts or my brain full of Russian literature. It ends with me regifting answers from other classes.

But not here at Tritonic! It isn’t even Thanksgiving and we’re hard at work wishing good cheer unto our beloved clients by way of the Tritonic Holiday Card. And it’s going to be big. What are we doing? We can’t say. When will it be done? Soon. Why are we doing it? Because we care. YULE have to wait and see. ZING!

Nothing says “child outreach” better than a wine tasting event. Sample your favorite vintage, comment on the bouquet (”Do I detect a hint of… boysenberry?”), discuss it with a sommelier, and best of all, do it for the kids!

We’re serious. The Boys and Girls Club of Newark is having their 23rd annual Wine Tasting Benefit, with all proceeds going to support the club. No, the kids won’t be there, and it’s likely for the best. The grown-ups in attendance will be doing their part to pay for another year of great BGCN programming. We designed the invitations for the event, and if we say so ourselves, they look pretty slick with this distressed wood effect. So please, have a drink. For the children.