This Is Newark: Cool Urban Design or Evidence of the Gathering Robot Menace?
April 17th, 2009

There’s treachery afoot. It’s our belief that we have an impostor. But we’re not so scared that we’re talking in code. Ha ha! That would be ridiculous! Just PAY no ATTENTION TO any SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES that may or may not follow.
DO NOT worry; please CALM DOWN. THIS IS no TIME TO PANIC. Let us explain. We submitted concepts to This Is Newark, the Newark Gateway Urban Design Exhibition, where designers of all stripes drew up their ideas for makers for all of Newark’s arrival points. The expo is running now at Aljira. Pretty exciting.
PLEASE, don’t GET FRIGHTENED AND ENRAGED. Because we looked through the roster of designers and there was no Tritonic to be found. But upon closer inspection, we were stunned: Tri-TRON-ic submitted. And they’ve stolen our entire presentation.
Perhaps THIS IS just A simple typo and there’s no REASON FOR OUR SUPPORTERS TO START A VIOLENT UPRISING. More likely, Tritronic is a team of sinister robots (perhaps of Colombian and Italian robo-American descent) bent on infiltrating our company and using it as a mouthpiece to broadcast their binary war transmissions, which humanity will not be able to perceive or understand until it’s too late. Think about it. TriTRONic is TriTONic with another R. And what does R stand for? Revolution? Reeducation camp? ROBOT? All the pieces are falling into place.
If you’re going to see the expo and it looks like there’s a STORM coming, don’t head to THE EVENT WITH your collection of antique PITCHFORKS. Just go and check out all the great work. Keep an eye out for robots.






