GERRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMSSSS!!!!!!

There are germs everywhere, and they’re closing in. We have to kick them out of the way to get around. Some of them are bunching together in self-aware clusters, threatening the dog, stealing food from the fridge. And today we decided: enough is enough!

This mess started because Nunzio was kind enough to share his germs with the rest of us. It seemed like he was having a good time, making new microscopic friends, so we thought, “Hey, what’s the harm? A few million germs never got anyone sick.”

But how wrong we were. One by one employees started to fall until the entire studio was a coughing, sneezing symphony. So we did the only sensible thing: panicked. First we emptied all offending tissue garbage and wiped down our desks with disinfectant. Then we engulfed the office in a healthy cloud of Lysol. Finally, we sealed off the bathroom, filled it up with boiling water and all settled in for a pleasant half-hour soak. The survivors feel great.

Now we all agree: no more germs in the office ever. Except for Sparky, he can stay.

My preparation for the holidays has historically been like my preparation for tests in college. Despite their presence on the calendar for weeks (or, in some cases, centuries), their rapid approach comes to me as a complete shock. All of the sudden I have an hour to stuff my car full of gifts or my brain full of Russian literature. It ends with me regifting answers from other classes.

But not here at Tritonic! It isn’t even Thanksgiving and we’re hard at work wishing good cheer unto our beloved clients by way of the Tritonic Holiday Card. And it’s going to be big. What are we doing? We can’t say. When will it be done? Soon. Why are we doing it? Because we care. YULE have to wait and see. ZING!

WARNING: Don’t watch these videos. They’re too profane. Lot’s of naughty words. Not for the little ones. And you won’t like them if you’re any of these people. Also they’re not at all representative of any feeling Tritonic has ever had about any of our clients. So haters of fiction should also steer clear. Oh, and if you have any strong feelings about robots (for, against, or extremely indifferent) you probably shouldn’t watch either. So please, nobody watch these videos. Everyone else can enjoy them like we did.